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Pet Bereavement.  E-mail
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Coping with the sudden loss of a pet

Sometimes the death of a pet can be very unexpected, the result of a car accident or sudden illness. This can be devastating and may take several days for it to sink in. This type of death often causes feelings of guilt or anger. These feelings are normal and will usually pass in a few days. Sometimes children can be very upset by the sudden death of a pet, it may provoke feelings of abandonment or they may be concerned that their parents may die also. 
If you get the opportunity to say goodbye, this can be very reassuring. Many people find that the sight of their pet, even though it may be unpleasant helps them come to terms with the loss and start the grieving process. Veterinary practices are usually very sensitive to owners needs in these circumstances.

Euthanasia - making the decision

Euthanasia comes from the Greek for "a gentle death." It is a great gift to be able to avoid pain and suffering and to allow an animal to die quickly and painlessly. It is a very emotional time for the owner and the vet. Taking the decision to let go of a treasured companion is never easy and your veterinary surgeon will guide you about when the time is right. If you are considering euthanasia, you can ask yourself a number of questions:

Is the animal

  • Suffering from pain, distress or serious discomfort which cannot be effectively controlled 
    Having difficulty walking or balancing 
  • Finding it difficult to eat and drink enough without vomiting to maintain good bodily condition 
  • Suffering from tumours which cause pain or serious discomfort which are inoperable or untreatable 
  • Having difficulty breathing 
  • Incontinent or having difficulty urinating or defecating
  • Suffering from abnormal behaviour

And is the owner unable to cope physically and emotionally with any nursing or medication that may be required?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then euthanasia may be the best option for your pet.

What happens when an animal is put to sleep 

When you decide to have a pet put to sleep a vet or a nurse will explain the process and tell you what to expect. Some people can be too upset at the time to discuss it so don't be afraid to ask before you decide or afterwards if you have any questions. You may want to arrange the appointment at a time when the practice is quiet. 

You will be asked to sign a consent form giving the vet permission to carry out euthanasia and owners are often asked if they want to stay with your pet. There are no hard and fast rules about whether it is better to stay with your pet while it has the injection. Some people find it comforting others find it distressing. You have to decide what you are most comfortable with. Your pet will be given an injection and this is usually given into a vein in the front leg, although some types of injection are given into a muscle. A nurse often helps the vet with this. The injections are similar to an anaesthetic and the animal will usually fall asleep within seconds if it is given into the vein. Once your pet loses consciousness, it will then stop breathing and the heart will stop; this usually takes about a minute, but can take longer especially in patients with poor circulation. There may be a few muscle tremors or deep shallow breaths, but this is quite normal. The eyes normally stay open and sometimes the animal may lose control of its bladder. You will now be given a few moments with you pet if you want time to say goodbye. 

Most people leave their pet with the vet who will arrange cremation. If you prefer to take your pet home for burial please inform the vet or nurse before the euthanasia is performed. PDSA sends all deceased pets for cremation. Pets are communally cremated and the ashes are then buried. If you prefer to have an individual cremation and want the ashes returned PDSA staff will advise you on how to make these arrangements. 

Coping with grief

The grief process consists of a number of stages: disbelief, pain, anger, guilt and acceptance. The first stage is disbelief and shock. It may be hard to accept the animal is no longer with us and the house may feel very empty. The next stage is pain, anger and depression. This is the time you need the support of family and friends and a listening ear. Many people will experience feelings of guilt; "Did I do the right thing?" "What could I have done to prevent it?" This is normal and will subside in time. The last stage of the process is acceptance. You have accepted the reality of the loss of your pet and can now look back with happiness on the many pleasant memories of your time together.

The death of a pet is very upsetting and it is important to allow yourself time to grieve. Take time to talk things over with friends and family. Don't feel embarrassed about crying as it helps when you release these intense emotions. Your veterinary practice may have a bereavement counsellor or can put you in touch with one if you need more help. Everyone reacts differently to grief but rest assured that these sad feelings will fade in time.

Useful references and addresses

'Death of an Animal Friend' booklet Society for Companion Animal Studies (SCAS) SCAS Director 10(B) Leny Road, Callandar Perthshire FK17 8BA

'Absent Friend' by Laura and Martyn Lee, published by Henston (ISBN 1-85054-089-6). 

If this information was helpful then please visit http://www.pdsa.org.uk